20% ; The Impossible

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What are the odds?

In retrospect, when you hear you have a twenty percent chance of survival, what do you do? 20%…. If you had a twenty percent chance of landing on the red space instead of the green space while playing darts, would you be hesitant? What of you bet your rent on it? You would certainly give it a try right? Sure, you recognize the level of difficulty you face, but suppose you hit that red space? Suppose you did the impossible?

When a mother hears that her child,let’s call her Kelly, has a twenty percent chance of surviving, her natural instinct is to grasp that percent with her whole brigand see where it goes. Giving up is no option. She needs her child just as her child needs her. Although the outcome seems detrimental for the child, what if that twenty percent was the difference between life and death? Others may look at these odds and say to give up..it’s only twenty percent right?

Wrong.

Although it is difficult, scary and often intimidating, 20% may be the difference between losing out on something beautiful or witnessing a miracle. So, if you are ever faced with slim chances, look at it in an optimistic way. Why not try? After all, it’s only 20%..right?…

Peace & Love ♥

This Too Shall Pass

So you wake up one day and you have a two flat tires. Normally things like this would shake you up and throw of your entire day, but you got this. You get to work by calling a friend or hopping on the bus. But when you get to work, you get fired. What a day right? This might be your breaking point. You figure how could this day get any worse? Not only do you have to catch the bus back home but you don’t know where your next meal or paycheck will come from. This alone, might put you in a negative space.

Next scenario: Let’s say, your boyfriend/husband/wife/girlfriend breaks up with you or wants a divorce. This could make you question everything right? Who are you without them? You are looking back at everything you could’ve done better, what you should’ve done better and how you will win them back: maybe. For some people, depending on how close you are with someone, it may be a traumatic experience. You are sad, lonely, depressed, and you begin to question what could possibly be wrong with you. Things couldn’t get any worse right?

WRONG

Everyday life can be tricky and it can throw you curve balls from time to time when you least expect it. In these instances, you have to take a step back, give yourself time to deal with your struggles in a HEALTHY manner. There are right and wrongs ways to react to life. Some people cannot handle when things are going left instead of right. Some get off into drugs to numb their feelings, some shut themselves off from people that love and care about them and some even kill themselves.

People go through struggles everyday. But you have to remember, ‘this too shall pass.’

All of my life has been a struggle, and by me saying this, I don’t mean that my struggle was any worse or better than yours. Nothing has come easy to me. My mother always taught me to recognize that struggle and have it make you stronger. As a kid, I would see my mom doing the very best she could so that we wouldn’t have to feel that hardship. As a child, she made sure that I was protected, but I was not blind to the fact that my mom went through obstacles everyday. So it is okay to recognize and own that struggle, but that is not who you are. You can’t let things swallow you and change that sense of hope that you have.

If you don’t have a place of your own? That’s okay, you could not have a home at all. You could be living on the streets. You could not have food, water, shelter, and guess what? You are still okay. You are alive aren’t you?

So the next time you have life throwing rocks at you, pick them up and place them in your pocket. Own it, Recognize it, but remember, This Too Shall Pass

 

Find Yourself

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It is easy to assume that you know yourself. You can look in the mirror and decide that you know exactly who you are and where you’re going. But if you look a little closer and spend some quality time with yourself, no distractions, no friends, no family you will find that you are still growing into who you’re supposed to be.

Now, a lot of things can make you feel like you have it all together, and maybe you do..but suppose you don’t. You may have a successful job, a blooming relationship, and awesome friends that support you but, what do you have minus that? I had to ask myself this same thing. When you take a step back and figure out who you are without these things, only then can you find the real you. And when you do, it’s an eye opening experience and the visual of YOU will make you ten times happier and it will bring peace to your life.

I myself was in search for peace, stability, and I thought I could find that in friendship or a relationship. These things made me feel like I had purpose higher than myself but what I didn’t realize, was that I was lowering my values and morals and changing who I was for that search of happiness. But if I couldn’t be me, was I really happy? When you find yourself changing, you don’t notice it overnight. It’s like if you start gaining weight, you never notice when you gain a little pouch over your stomach until one day you realize you went from a size 5 to a 10. You never notice until you’ve gone too far. That’s what I did to myself. I didn’t notice I wasn’t myself until something deep in me started fighting who I was turning into. I noticed myself snapping a lot more, defending other people actions, and separating myself from those I loved..all because I was losing myself to make myself feel better for the way people treated me. I was turning into a monster.

It wasn’t until I got out of that relationship and eliminated myself from those friends that were toxic to my well-being that I started to rediscover who the fuck I was. 😉 And when you let these things go, you realize how many blessing come your way. You start to see just how powerful you are and you GET THINGS DONE! You are no longer distracted by who likes you and who doesn’t, whether he will call or not, you realize none of that matters. And when you discover your sense of self worth, let me tell you, it is beautiful. I am not perfect, and I can’t say that I will ever be, but I know that whatever I am, I will always be Malissa. Regardless to the circumstance around me, regardless to those who try to get me out of my character to make themselves feel good, I will always be me.

So do yourself a favor, find you. Take yourself out to dinner, to a movie, redecorate your apartment, take walks by yourself, read a book, sit in SILENCE. Because when you do, you’ll be able to hear yourself loud and clear. 🙂

Thanks for reading.

Bad Hair Days

So, i’m sure almost everyone has experienced a bad hair day. I don’t know if your reaction is the same, but I usually feel as if I have let myself down. lol i look in the mirror and some days I just want to crawl back in bed and ask myself why I did this to myself, Why didn’t I just wrap my hair last night? Was that late night movie worth it? It often seems that I usually have some place important to go the next morning, after I haven’t wrapped my hair. And this leads to me rushing, bringing out the flat irons and trying to attempt to save my hair in the thirty minutes I allotted for myself to get ready. End result: I look a mess. I can tell that I rushed over my hair and my day is ruined. I always feel like people look at me differently when I rush over my hair.

P.S Needless to say, I am having a bad hair day today. Somebody didn’t wrap their hair last night. 😦

If only my bad hair day looked this good......
If only my bad hair day looked this good……

My Motivation

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Hey there! I’d like to say that this was a recent picture of me, but it isn’t. So why put this picture up you ask? I was going through facebook photos and I came across this one. I believe this was my senior year, when I began to realize just how great I was. I had gone through the silly high school melodrama, and I had finally made! I was a great student, everyone loved me, with the exception of the few friends I discarded of once I knew they weren’t good for me. But I had such a great reputation, not only with the teachers, but with the students as well. I was apart Student Council, National Honors Society, Student Advisory team ( I was a freshman mentor) and I took pride in that. I knew I was smart and so did everyone else. At this point I knew I would get into SLU, my first and only choice, and I did. I was feeling good. I also took ice skating lessons back in 8th grade through my sophomore year, and by my senior year, I had started practicing again. So I was in a good place. (Btw, ice skating is another one of my releases. I LOVE it.

So, i said all this to say that I want and need to get back to the drive I had back then. I was on top of my game; not saying that I’m not now. But, it was something about my senior year. I was so hopeful. Im still excited about my future, I just recently got a full time job that makes more than I thought I would be making in a long time. I also trying to save up to move into my own apartment or town home, I’m hoping for the town house more so. I am still in college but, I no longer attend SLU unfortunately. I attend St. Louis Florissant Valley College. My major is nursing now. I’m excited to get my plans for the for the future rolling. But I am slowly but surely getting my momentum back to where it was my senior year of Hazelwood Central.

 

Why I named my blog, “Bedside with Brooke”…

I’m sure you’re wondering why I named my blog Bedside with Brooke, and if you aren’t, I’ll tell you anyway 🙂 .

When I was a little girl, maybe about 8 or 9, my best friend Kendall gave me a set of diaries for my birthday. Honestly, they sat on my bedside table for about a month or so. I didn’t know what exactly to write, however, I was thankful that she gave me a gift. My first thought was , “What should I write about?”. My first entries almost always started with ” Hi Diary!”, and “I haven’t written in you for a while, SORRY!” lol. They were probably like that until about five years later, when I began to really think about what I was writing and how I felt about what was happening to me. Now, writing has become this therapeutic outlet for me; this blissful escape from my hyperactive brain. It allows me to slow down and actually think about how I feel as supposed to how I should feel. I had no idea that those simple pink and purple diaries would open me up to the wonderful world of writing. Now, I’m no Shakespeare, but, I like to think that I am a pretty good writer; especially when it comes to my own thoughts and feelings. Now, I have accumulated many diaries and journals and I keep them all in my bedside table.