Love or Learn

“You do not lose in love. You either win or you learn.”

Hey there every one!  I spent my Monday in bed due to a slight cold from losing a water fight on Sunday (I was ambushed but, we won’t get into that). But I woke up thinking about situations when we feel like we have ‘lost’. Those moments when you feel like you have exhausted every option and nothing worked and at that moment, you feel like you have been defeated. But, how often do you take those opportunities to learn from what could’ve been done better or slightly different.

So often you hear people saying, ‘If I had just waited two seconds longer, I could’ve made it.’ Or in my case, ‘If I had ran a little faster, I wouldn’t have gotten soaked,’. Now, some things you have to truly work at to improve or change for the better the next time you come across a similar situation. While other, you make slight adjustments and see the difference it makes. This aspect applies in almost every part of life. Sometimes we let the feeling of disappoints and trial and errors dictate the next move and that’s where we go wrong. We have to try to take every situation and turn it into a positive. I know that sounds cliche’ but the simplest things make the most sense. I often don’t need a long prophecy to see the gold message in it.

Whether it be a business, or a relationship, friendship, job or goal that didn’t work out the way you planned. It was for a reason and you have to take that information you have gathered after a long, deep conversation with yourself and make the next move your best move!

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As Always, Peace & Love ♥

What’s on your mind? The social media craze.

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With social media being one of the most crucial parts of our lives, I can’t help but wonder, is it changing us as human beings in a detrimental way? Now, I’m not saying social media is the devil or even that it is not important. But, at what point do we draw the line? We pull our phones out for almost everything and never think twice about it. We will sit in front of our computer screens, cellphones and tablets for hours looking at miscellaneous things that often have nothing to do with us. But don’t get me wrong, there are some things that should stay private or just not everywhere online for good taste sake. Now I know you can share whatever you please, the platform is yours but, here are some examples that I hope you can agree with.

  1. Dead bodies. This one seems self explanatory right? But, sadly it isn’t. I’ve seen people go on Facebook live and broadcast people hit by cars, found dead, passed out..and none of it is tasteful. Especially when you are of no kin to the person or people you are recording. What if their families saw how their loved ones were being plastered over facebook? Or Instagram? Or Snapchat? On the very same platforms you post your duck lipped selfies and new hair dos’. Not to mention the oh so sympathetic ‘like’ button on facebook and the empathetic emotion options you have. I’m sorry, but someone clicking the ‘sad button’ or ‘angry face’ on facebook helps me in no way, shape of form.
  2. Money/wealth/Or lack there of…You should never post your financial situation online. Whether  it be good or bad is your business and MAYBE even your friends/family that you choose to tell but your homeboy or homegirl you went to middle school with that used to date your cousin? They don’t need to know a thing. You are either setting yourself up for someone to try and take what you have out of jealousy or to pity you and pity never put money in anyones pockets as far as I’m concerned.
  3. Bad breakups. So you got your heart broken cause she/he was the biggest liar, cheater, cheap, or maybe they just got on your nerves! NONE of it needs to go on social media. You only create a one man show and onlookers will laugh at you rather than with you. I know because I am an onlooker! How are they the worst person today but, you loved them to death yesterday? Just keep it to yourself. I garuantee when things cool off you will thank yourself for it later for not making a fool out of yourself out of anger or sadness.
  4. Explicit pictures. This one is kind of tricky. On one hand, you have people who love to express themselves freely and openly and don’t mind their body being on the internet for spiritual reasons or maybe they are comfortable with their body and just wants tho share it. But then you have those who simply do it for the attention of others. Then they post the famous line ‘ why is everybody in my inbox!?’ Well babe, your bare titties are out for the world to see. Or hey man, cause your penis is showing, that’s why!  Now I’m not judging,  but I’m pretty sure that is something you will regret or hey, maybe you really love the attention..
  5. Your location. With the ability to post live feed and tag your locations, I cant help but be afraid because of the creeps out in this world who will pay attention to your schedule and stalk you or maybe kidnap you. (Whew that was a long sentence but I had to get it out lol). With young girls and boys going missing everyday, it is a feature that is best used moderately.

Now I love social media just as much as the next but, we have to know when to say when. Don’t put everything out there for the world to see. Some things are personal and meant to stay that way. So whenever using social media, proceed with caution! You may put something out there that you can’t take back.

 

As Always, Peace & Love!

 

Once A Month

Happy Friday you guys! I can’t say its too happy for me though. You see, my frenemy is with me, yep, mother nature herself, and I cannot get out of this terrible mood! It seems that as I get older all of the typical period symptoms get worse and worse. One in particular that has gotten worse is my attitude. Lord, it has reached maximum height, I’m sure. Now, I always got the other signs; back aches, stomach cramps, acne (ugh), and breast tenderness. But within the past year, I have noticed my moods swing, and boy do they swing high!

I’d say about a week or so before my period comes, I get excruciatingly emotional. I cry at the drop of a dime, hell, the drop of temperature will do it. And I am a walking ball of emotions. Everything sets me off, being hungry, being tired, being happy, being excited, did I say being hungry? It is just not a good time for me. The first two days are usually hell and now sadly, they have become hell for everyone around me. It’s gotten so bad that my boyfriend knows I am either acting crazy for one of two reasons, either my period is coming or its been two/three days since I’ve had some ..attention (but, that conversation is for another time). lol And when I realize this and rein it in, I have to commend him because he knows me and handles it so well.

But, I said all this to say, I notice how my body changes as I get older. They may be little but, I keep note of it. So as of now, I am the typical cry baby, emotional, angry for no reason girl on her period. 🙂 Does this effect anyone else this way?

rih

I pretty much look like this when people try to talk to me when I have my cycle. So mean! lol

As Always, Peace & Love ♥

 

I Heard…

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You ever heard things about yourself that literally make you laugh out loud? No matter how bad, disgusting or false they are, it’s just downright hilarious. Let me tell you, I have heard a plethora of stories about me. All of which I never responded to and you shouldn’t either! And let me tell you why.

  1. I’m not one for drama. I have never been the type to ‘have beef’ with someone. It’s just not my style. Whether we have had our differences or not, I honestly don’t care enough to respond or react. I barely have time to think about myself so the time I do have will not be focused on gossipers or people who don’t like me. If you’re mad, know that you are mad all by yourself and nothing will come of it.
  2. I was raised different. Yeah, I could’ve responded with things ‘I heard’ or even facts about other people, but why? This only gives the other person power to know that they have upset you. And if it isn’t true, why bother anyway?
  3. I have better things to do. With everything I have to deal with on the daily; my future, school, work, family issues, my health, my relationship and friends, I literally have no time for things that don’t matter. So leave them where they are and worry about your life.
  4. What are you trying to prove? Ask yourself that before responding to ANYTHING. Will it effect you? Will it effect your check? Is it paying your rent, car note, cell phone bill, anything? Effecting your grades? If the answer is no, why do you care if you get a side eye from someone who ‘heard’. Screw them!  They aren’t your friends OR family. Just random people who need some business. If someone can take the time to bring up your name and spread nonsense, let them be and you keep doing what you’re doing.
  5. And last but not least. WWBD; What would Beyonce’ Do? Now, y’all know I love my girl for a number of reasons. But one of the main reasons I love her for is how she carries herself. You don’t ever hear about her responding to petty accusations or stories about herself, good or bad. And trust, there has been plenty. She dropped Lemonade and had the whole world thinking her marriage was about to be in shambles, and whether it was true or not, you see she is happy and has two beautiful babies on the way. You never hear about her talking about other people or putting people’s business out there just for relevancy. She never even dedicates a minuscule Instagram post about a rumor or hear say. Why? Because she is confident and knows who she is. She knows what she represents and you can’t hold yourself to that standard if you are constantly seen trying to prove others wrong and defending yourself to people who don’t matter. Prove them wrong by doing you and be damn good at it.

So guys, the next time you hear things about yourself, give it a good laugh! And congratulate those people for knowing more about you than you do. 😊

As Always, Peace & Love

Fun Facts about Me you would never know unless you Knew…

  1. I cry at any and every public event where people are coming together in a positive way. For. Any. Reason. Concert? Tears. Random people break into a cute song randomly? Tears. I see groups of people helping the community? Tears are brought to my eyes. It has always been this way because its the little things that touch me. Sounds corny, I know. But, I can’t help it. I can’t even hold the tears back. lol But just know, I love when people come together and it touches me every single time.
  2. I still slide down my stairs at home. Yes, like a damn child. lol I do it for various reasons. Either I wake up too tired to walk downstairs, or I just get lazy, or I just want to slide down the stairs! It’s the little things that keep you young and sliding down the steps is one of mine. lol
  3. I light candles everyday. I love the tranquility of candles. It’s calming and peaceful. Also, I love the scent. My friends always tell me that my house ‘doesn’t smell like a black persons house'(y’all don’t take offense lmao) because it doesn’t smell like food. haha! But my mother raised me to always keep a nice smelling home. Nobody wants to smell what you ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner all day.
  4. I don’t like social media. I’d prefer not to have all of these social outlets but, I have them for my blog. A few months ago I had deleted everything and I didn’t miss it one bit. But now, I have to have all of these avenues to get my word out.
  5. I am girly girl/ tomboy all in one. I am the only girl between two brothers. I always had an affinity for the typical girly things. Painting my nails, Barbies, etc. But I spent my summers outside playing football and basketball religiously. I had my fair share of video games that I loved to play. Not only did I enjoy it, I got to bond with my brothers at the same. They did have to sit through quite a few tea parties and fashion shows though.

As always, Peace & Love

Even if you in a Benz, you still a Nigga in a Coupe..

“Love life period, not just yours..” – Me

 

“You don’t have to train police officers not to shoot white people, why do we have to train them not to shoot us?”

– Sheryl Underwood

For the past three days, I have been at war with myself. As I watch police kill another black body and leave them slain in the street, it yanks at the strings of my heart. Another black body. Another father lost. Another son, uncle, brother, grandfather, dead all because…..Well, I don’t really need to say it but, I’m sure the police reports will have a fabricated ‘reason’ as to why. And all of it is bullshit. Not only do they get away with murder, falsifying documents, tampering with evidence, falsified stories, magically malfunctioning body cams..but, they get a paid vacation leave afterwards.What kind of sense does that make? We are supposed to feel protected by the same police that are ‘scared’ of us..for being black. We are supposed to call them in times of need but, who do we call when the police are the ones we need protection from. And let me say *disclaimer* I KNOW NOT ALL COPS OR WHITE PEOPLE ARE BAD, CORRUPT, OR RACIST. But we aren’t talking about y’all right now. The spotlight is on the true cowards who call themselves officers.

I have never been more fearful in my life of being black than now. I have never understood the importance of a strong community base until now. You can literally be killed for any and everything. You were complying with the officers commands? STILL MURDERED. You walking in an area you ‘don’t belong in’? MURDERED. Wearing a hoodie? MURDERED. Selling CD’s? MURDERED. Selling cigarettes? MURDERED. ‘Looking like a bad dude’? Murdered. God forbid you are actually doing something wrong right? But hell, how things are going, what’s the difference? But to ask a better question, what are the similarities? Black. No matter how smart you are, you can still get murdered. You live in a nice neighborhood? See if that saves you. You make a lot of money, great. See if that saves you. You are a God-fearing person, great. See if that saves you. As long as we have black skin covering our bodies our lifestyles, families, jobs, religion, status will not save us. And our government makes that clear everyday. So to my black people, please stay focused. The most you can do is try to live right an pray.

I look at my generation of black people and I am so saddened by what I see. Pointless fights shared down my timeline, people repping gangs like it’s a way of life, women killing  and fighting each over men, men killing and fighting each over women, men and women even killing their own children. Don’t we get enough of this from outside of our community? You mean to tell me, that we as black people harvest so much hate towards each other that we can’t put that aside and CHOOSE LIFE. We really can’t do that? We really want to put the next person down because somebody else has more than you..or less than you? Well guess what, you still a nigga in a coupe to that cop that sees you as threatening. You still a nigga in a coupe to that job that won’t hire you simply because you are black.  You still a nigga in a coupe to that neighbor that gives you the side eye in your ‘nice neighborhood’.

So to my black people, CHOOSE LIFE, rep life, fight for you life and equality and justice. Don’t just give it away to a world that is banking on us to fail. We have to show ourselves that Black Lives Matter.

And I know me writing about it probably won’t change anyone’s mind. There will be another gang shooting tomorrow, another drug related crime next week, another fight another day. But, I don’t know about you, but as a black person, I’m not gonna lie and say that I am not afraid to be pulled over. I’m not gonna lie like I won’t ask God to not be shot during a routine stop. As a black person, I am fearful for my life every time I walk out the door but at the same time proud in the loudest, most unapologetic Blackest way possible. 😉

So please, think before you raise that gun to kill, or raise that fist to fight or rob, or steal. Let the fear and hunger for life be more powerful than hate.

“Their greedy eyes don’t realize, that’s someones son..Finger on the trigger for the years to come..”- Sade X Clean Heart

Peace & Love ♥

⊥Title extracted from Kanye X When it All Falls Down

It’s Monday….Again. But don’t just live for the weekend!

Happy Monday!!

If you are anything like me, you woke up wanting to phone your boss early this morning with a ‘sick’ excuse as to why you can’t come into work. I know I was about two seconds from doing so. lol But, I got it together and headed into work (early might I add), and got my day started. I made a smoothie this morning which gave me energy and tasted super good, mixed berry seems to be my favorite lately.

Once I got into work, I got into the swing of things. Mondays are always bittersweet for me. I had an amazing weekend with great friends and family and I didn’t want that to end but, Monday also represents the start of a fresh week (with only five days until the weekend. 😉 ). So, as much as I hate to say it, Happy Monday!! Enjoy the week itself! Don’t just live for the weekend. There are five days you miss in between time living that way. Don’t just give yourself two days to enjoy yourself. Stop and smell the roses on your lunch, or after work. So often we miss out on living our life because we find ourselves ‘too tired’ or ‘too drained’. But we have to push through that. Work so you can support your dream. Live so you can support your soul. Don’t just work for the weekend.

Peace & Love ♥