Why WE NEEDED Girls Trip

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“It’s like we can’t be too ratchet, or else we aren’t smart. We can’t be smart, and love to have a good time. We can’t work and play just as hard at the same time. And this movie shattered that notion on the big screen and I couldn’t have been more proud. -Brooke “

If you’re like me, and the rest of the female population, you saw the thousands upon thousands of commercials and advertisements for Girls Trip. And if you’re like me, you went to go see it the day it came out on Friday. And can I just say, it was UH-MAZE-IN! (Y’all I know that’s not how you spell it, but I said what I said). I got there early with my mom, stashed snacks in my purse, got a huge bag of popcorn and a soda, pulled out my cover (I’m always cold and I ALWAYS keep a little blanket with me lol), and all in two hours, I was taken through an array of emotions.

First off, I need to tell you all of the reasons why I was excited when I first saw this trailer. Not only did it have some amazing actors, some beautiful eye candy and feel good moments (and that was just from the commercials), it took place at the Essence festival! I have always wanted to go for so many reasons. This trailer alone appealed to all of my black girl feels and my black girl life! So often in media and movies, the perception of a black woman is misconstrued and twisted and molded into something else that we can barely recognize. It’s like we can’t be too ratchet, or else we aren’t smart. We can’t be smart, and love to have a good time. We can’t work and play just as hard at the same time. And this movie shattered that notion on the big screen and I couldn’t have been more proud. With each twerk and fruity alcoholic drink they put up to their lips, I beamed from the inside-out. I want to break down each of the girls, I’ll try not to spoil it for those who haven’t seen it but, I want to focus on each of their characters so you understand why I fan-girled through the entire movie.

“Like my mom, Lisa felt guilty about the fact of not having a father present and didn’t want to bring that type of heartache to us if things didn’t work out. She didn’t want to bring someone else into our lives who could hurt us or her and this movie helped me understand her a little bit more. I wish she had, like Lisa, realized she could have a life too. That we would not look at her as being a bad mother when she wanted to do things for herself.”

I want to tell you about Lisa. She was the one I resonated with the most. At first glance, you see the ‘Mom’ of the group. Plain, not much effort put into herself, a little obsessive and very passive. She wasn’t too wild, very poised, morals were on her very fore-front and she loved her babies. lisaShe was a single mother who felt like she had to have it together at all times so people wouldn’t judge her. The negative connotation with single mothers has to stop y’all. Especially in the black community. We judge the mother, we judge the children and people seem to put an extra scope on single mothers to see if they can ‘do it without a man’. Umm, hello! Yes they can! I watched my beautiful black single mother do her thing with three beautiful children. Not once did we go without the things we needed, not once did we go hungry, we always looked nice and attended private schools. And she did it with her single ass. It is possible. (Okay, rant over). Back to Lisa..She put herself on the back burner and didn’t put effort into herself. She tried to make sure everyone else was okay without really looking at her own life. She put off dating because she was so focused on being a mother. I watched my mother do this as well while my father went off and got married and wanted nothing to do with us. Like my mom, Lisa felt guilty about the fact of not having a father present and didn’t want to bring that type of heartache to us if things didn’t work out. She didn’t want to bring someone else into our lives who could hurt us or her and this movie helped me understand her a little bit more. I wish she had, like Lisa, realized she could have a life too. That we would not look at her as being a bad mother when she wanted to do things for herself. Towards the end of the movie, she got back to being herself, not just her children’s mother, which was apart of her, but, that wasn’t all she was. She was a friend, a sister even, to people who loved her for all she was. Once she embraced it, she became a better person and was true to herself.

Okay, now I know you all has seen the famous ‘ drugs in my booty hole’ part of the trailer. Yes, I’m talking about Dina! She was the home-girl you call when you need to make a trip to someone’s house cause they’ve been talking shit. dinaShe was the girl you called when your man is tripping and you need to hear a few words so you tell that nigga how it is and how it’s gnna be. She was your little sister that didn’t take nothing but the cold, hard truth. And If you couldn’t give her that, she wasn’t hearing it. She reminded me a lot of my best friend. If you didn’t know her, you’d just think she was not responsible, just looking for a good time and not really care about what people think. But, she is just a free spirit who wants to enjoy life to the fullest. She has always been this way. I can call her when I need advice and she is going to tell me what I need to hear whether I like it or not. She will get you together! Like Dina, she believes in not beating around the bush. Either it’s this way or it isn’t. People like them want you to be honest with YOURSELF. That’s the only way they know how to be. Towards the end of the movie, you see how deep her love is for her friends are. You see that she just wants them all to be happy and to have each others’ backs through the good and the bad. After all, that’s what sisters are for.

“Sometimes you need a shoulder to cry on, sometimes you need to be checked. But, bottom line is, we’re always there for each other when we need each other.”- Queen Latifah on having a sisterhood X Essence Festival Interview

Sasha, oh Sasha. Played by the Queen herself (Latifah), she was a journalist writing for a celebrity gossip blog. From the beginning, you could tell that she loved writing but, just not in that field. But, she was doing what she had to do to pay the bills and even though things were crashing down on her, her girls were the perfect escape to distract her, if only for a little bit. We see her strained relationship with Ryan (I’ll get to her), but she seems to fall back in ease when all of her girls are around, Lisa and Dina, and they can just let go. Through out the movie,sasha Sasha and Ryan eventually settle their differences and evolve even more in her relationship once Ryan sees how loyal Sasha was really is. She always kept her side-eye roaming for the latest juicy gossip, but when it came to her girls, that was off-limits and that was a line she did not cross. Even with Ryan being somewhat of a celebrity, a well-known author along with her husband Ass-hole..Stewart. Even when things were strained between them, Sasha remained loyal to her girls. Friendship meant a lot to her, even when she didn’t always express it. And everything came around full circle because of that loyalty and it was truly beautiful to see. So often, black women talk amongst themselves and if you ask them to describe the black woman community you hear multiple things; catty, mean, back-stabbing, jealous, envious, rude, not trust worthy. Sasha proved all of these things to be wrong even when she had a chance to gain off of all of those negative connotations. We aren’t all bad! There are black women who support each other! And she validated that.

Ryan.Ryan.Ryan. How I loved to see the growth of Ryan! From the outside looking in, she seemed to have the perfect life and that everything just fell perfectly in place for her. Booming career, loving husband (so we thought), loving girl friends, and an exciting life. But, as we quickly learn, her husband is a dirty, dirty cheat..AND SHE KNOWS! Now like most women, we think, ‘What did I do wrong’, ‘What could I have done better’? Stewart (her husband) made sure to constantly remind her of the ‘brand’ they were selling and how much he loved her, and that she would have nothing without him, blah blah blah. I could’ve punched him through the screen. Because each time he smoothed talked her into not moving on, I saw this look that was all too familiar. We’ve either seen it on our girl friends faces, or our own.That defeated look, that lookryan.jpg that illuminates that little girl part of you that just wants to be loved and happy and is lost. That look you get when you feel so small and worthless and confused and hurt. We have all been hurt and thought we had to accept it and move on. As women, we are always expected to accept the bullshit, plain and simple. If we stay mad for too long, it becomes our fault and we are unreasonable. If we push ourselves to get over it too quickly, we end up developing this tiny inkling of disdain that grows and grows until one day it explodes and we get the label I love to hear so much; crazy. We are crazy for wanting better, crazy for voicing our opinion, crazy for having feelings, crazy for not having feelings. But, with the help of her girls, she realized her worth and Stewart couldn’t stand a chance to manipulate her any longer. Did I tell you he had a baby with the side chick? And guess what, she was going to try to figure that out too. WHY DO WOMEN ALWAYS HAVE TO FIGURE SHIT OUT? But thankfully, she realized she was the bomb and then some. And I loved it! She did not need a man to be successful, she did not need a man to seem like the perfect woman, and she did not need a man for validation. On top of that, she found an AMAZING man who genuinely liked her since childhood. He cared about her and I can only imagine their beautiful relationship as it evolved. She mended her relationship with Sasha and got to branch into an entire new business venture, WITHOUT Stewart.

“This movie…no BIBLE of Sisterhood is something every woman of every age needs to see… It was sexy (Kofi was in there y’all!), unapologetic, the right amount of raunchy, real, raw, hilarious and uplifting.”

One thing that would’ve been a nice additive to the movie, for me, would’ve have been to see how Stewart would react to someone being interested in Ryan. If maybe he had seen the chemistry between them (it was always respectful, no lines were crossed while they were married on her end). But, I would have loved to see him have to nerve, the audacity, the unmitigated gall (yes, that was a Grinch reference) to say anything to her, make her feel bad, or think he had to the right to be upset. It always works that way though doesn’t it? Men do whatever, when ever, to whomever and women are ‘strong’ because they sit through it all. But, if it was the other way around, oh baby, you have committed the worst crime ever right? It’s just one of the double standards that women are shunned under and it has to stop. #ISSADoubleStandard

“It showed girls being girls on vacation, and that is not always sitting by a lake reading a book, or waking up at the crack of dawn to do yoga, or having tea in a history museum, or ‘finding ourselves’ by the ocean (although those are perfectly acceptable if that’s what you want to do. We are allowed to let loose ‘like the boys’, we are allowed to hook up if we want to, we are allowed to take the day by storm, we are allowed to be GIRLS in every sense of the word.”

Girls Trip gave me my entire life and then some. I could resonate with every character in some way, form or fashion; some more than others. But they all tapped my soul in the right spot to awaken the super black girl in me. To know when to toot my own horn and let loose, to know when someone needs to be checked or when to check myself, to cherish the women (friends and family) in my life, and to not accept anything less than what I deserve. This movie, no, Bible of Sisterhood is something every woman of every age needs to see (18 and over though, it’s a hard R rating). It was sexy (Kofi and Lorenz was in there y’all!), unapologetic, had the right amount of raunchy fun, real, raw, hilarious and uplifting. It showed girls being girls on vacation, and that is not always sitting by a lake reading a book, or waking up at the crack of dawn to do yoga, or having tea in a history museum, or ‘finding ourselves’ by the ocean (although those are perfectly acceptable if that’s what you want to do. We are allowed to let loose ‘like the boys’, we are allowed to hook up if we want to, we are allowed to take the day by storm, we are allowed to be GIRLS in every sense of the word.

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So please, go see it with you mother, sister, auntie, girlfriend, friend, daughter (if she’s age appropriate), enjoy, re-evaluate and flourish.

As Always, Peace & Love ♥

 

 

 

 

 

Magic Smoothies

Hey guys! So I’ve been trying to eat a bit healthier so I picked up a Magic Bullet blender a few months back. I was so exited to start using this. I love smoothies and I love fresh fruit. But here’s the good part, I can make so much more other things with it as well! It came with a booklet with some recipes and I am going to give them all a try. The smoothies keep me feeling full all while getting my healthy serving of fruits and veggies (I add spinach leaves to it for some greens). You can also add any type of protein or whey to the mix which give you an extra boost. I have yet to do so, but I think I might pick some up soon.

In the picture, I have huge ice cubes but, I have since switched to frozen fruit. To me, the smoothies come out much better and I have more room for fruit without the ice.

Did I mention it’s fun to make! Take about ten minutes tops to have yourself a delicious smoothie. I love it so far and will continue to replace a meal with one of these babies. Now, I’m not gonna lie and say that I have been eating healthy this entire time. I love me some Reese’s okay? lol But I have been making an effort to incorporate healthy foods and exercising.

Eating healthier also changes your whole mood. I wake up with energy and  a bright outlook on the day. I don’t get tired too quickly and I feel soo good! So, try to make a small healthy choice today, or tomorrow. Any effort counts! Oh, and Happy Friday!!

Anybody have any good recipes they use? Let me know!

Peace & Love

Gotta get this together!

Hey guys, so the other day I tried on my favorite pair of jeans. I was reluctant to do so because I knew I had picked up some weight and they might fit a little differently. lol But, I tried them on.

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Looks normal right? lol

Wrong! I couldn’t even zip them! Oh lord. lol I wasn’t too sad though. At first, I wasn’t even sure I could get them on my hips! So when I did, that was a plus! So, as of yesterday, I started my ice skating routine. It kept my body on point! Ran/walked for 30/45 minutes, did the rest of my work out ( I can’t tell y’all my secrets 😉 ) and I felt great. Yesterday was also August 1st, so I told myself that by the end of the month I will be back in these babies with no problem. I put it on here so you guys can call me out if I haven’t!

And just an fyi ladies, it’s not about weight. It’s all about health. Strive to be a healthier person and if you lose weight while doing it, awesome!

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I gotta get it together people!

Peace & Love ♥

Drab to Fab; Updating a Hopeless Wardrobe

Hey loves!

So , not too long ago I told you all that I moved recently and gave away a lot of clothing for various reasons. Either I didn’t wear them anymore or I could no longer fit them due to weight gain (damn my love for baking!). But recently , I noticed that I wear the same type of clothing for the majority of the time! I have my go-tos’ for when I go out with friends, family functions, etc. My clothing choice is usually comfortable and casual, which is fine but, I need to switch it up. Sometimes, the occasion calls for a little more ya know? So as of late, I have been buying staple pieces that are girly, cute, of quality and can be worn in multiple of ways. One of my favorite spots is Target, can’t go wrong in there! Everything is a decent price and the quality of clothing is pretty nice. They have some really great clothes! But I always have to catch myself in there. Before I know it, my basket will be full of clothes due to my shopping impulses lol.

I used to always say, ‘I’m going to wait until I lose a few more pounds before I buy this’ or ‘I’ll go shopping when I lose more weight’, but what I realized was that that was a lack of confidence shining through. I was never a self conscious person, I have always loved my body, extra pounds or not, but I would find myself not wanting to ‘draw attention’ to myself, always be modest and kinda fade into the crowd. But when I finally took a look at myself and realized I’M NOT PERFECT and no one is, I didn’t trip any more! I never really wanted to wear things that showed off my curves because I grew up kind of shy about them. I almost always had the biggest butt in class since as long as I can remember.

It caused a lot of unwarranted attention and I didn’t like it. I was always quiet and mild mannered so the attention my body got was not something that always sat well with me and I guess that feeling of being looked at kinda trickled into my adult hood, therefore resulting in boring, unflattering clothing choices..until now.

One thing I NEVER wore was rompers. I have never owned one until about a few months ago, can you believe it! I always loved the way rompers looked on other people, but again I was worried about my butt so I never bought one. But, becoming a woman has taught me a few things..
1.Love the body you are in.

2. Don’t compare yourself.

3. Dare to be different.

4. Be confident AND…

5. BE CONFIDENT!

I love every inch of my body. From the dimples on my thighs, the stretch marks on my hips, to the extra love on my arms. It’s me and I’ve never been more in love with myself than now. Sex appeal is something that us women need to cherish and love about ourselves. WE ARE SEXY, BEAUTIFUL CREATURES and it is nothing to be ashamed of.

I am looking forward to this wardrobe improvement. I found confidence in myself and I will dress as such 😉 . Need motivation? Ya’ll know how much I love me some Beyonce’. Listen to Grown Woman one time, I guarantee you’ll feel like every mirror is your stage. It perfectly describes how a woman should regard herself at all times!

Ladies, you are the shit. You are beautiful. You are quiet. You are loud. You are sassy. You are timid. You are coy. You are curvy. You are confident.You are woman. You’re a GROWWWWN WOMAN.

So wear that confidence like a fur coat in the summertime baby. Who gon stop you? lol

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As always,

Peace & Love ♥

 

 

Going Backwards; Skating Around the Subject

What’s up my beautiful people.

Remember when I started this portion of my blog to talk about how geared up I was about losing weight and getting healthy?? Well, I just came to give you an update. I HAVEN’T DONE A DAMN THING, ok? lol I mean, Yeah I take the steps, when I’m not super tired, and I don’t drink soda anymore, but I havent really done much to aid myself in becoming any healthier. To be honest, I think I went walking maybe…once (don’t laugh). But, I know I need to get on the ball and kick-start my health. I have used every excuse in the book but, its time that I go through with it.

I drink mostly tea, but you know that isn’t all that great for the kidneys, so that’s not really a good alternative. I usually buy bottles of water so I can just grab one when I feel like it, and when I do, i go through it in about two weeks (which reminds me, i need more). It’s something about drinking out of a bottle that makes it better than tap water. lol

As I said yesterday, I am moving so I went through a lot of my clothes. Most of which I could not fit anymore. You know how many bags of unfittable (made that up) clothes that was, THREE FULL BAGS. Can you believe it! I donated them all to the Salvation army because they were in great condition but, it still hurt to see them go. So, if that’s not motivation in some kind of way, I don’t know what is.

So, what am I gonna do about it you ask? Well, I used to ice skate from middle school into mid-highschool, and let me tell you, I was in the best shape of my life! I had muscles in all the right places, a strong core, strong ankles (only an ice skater would know why that’s important lol), and my health was on point. My instructor Jackie (yeah I remember ya) gave me a regimen of exercises to do that engaged ALL of my body. My mother had to sign off on what I did every night to make sure I wasn’t cheating. I hated doing it on the days I was tired, but by the end of it, it gave me a boost of energy. Well, I found my regimen the other day and started it on saturday, twice a day. I can’t guarantee that I will do this everyday, but I feel it already lol. I have always loved the challenge of pushing myself when it came to ice skating and exercise, I just put it to the side these past years. But, I’m finding it again slowly. I’m sure I’ll see some changes. Now, all I have to do is get my eating right and get back on the ice! I felt so powerful and in control on the ice and I always pushed myself, doing extra practices when I could, covered in sweat by the time I finished (yes you can sweat on ice). It was great. Ice skating was always something I was passionate about, but I stopped. I enjoyed doing it and it was great exercise, so if you haven’t already, try it! As of next week, I will be back on the ice ASAP and as often as I can. 😉

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Wax Attack

Hey there!

So, let me tell you about my Friday. It was a normal, lazy work day. I was sitting at my desk doing a little online shopping  when a friend of mine hits me up about going to get a wax (you know, my lady flower). And she wanted to go RIGHT AFTER WORK! I took a deep breath and said I needed time to think about it. Lol I had looked into it before but, I never actually went through with it. So, when she brought it up, I was on the fence.

I began looking up other women’s experiences to try to make myself feel better. They all said that it didn’t hurt as bad as they thought it would so that made me feel a little better.Now, I never let it grow into a full bush (t.m.i), but some times I get lazy and let it grow a little. I’ve always kept it neat and trimmed for the most part. So, I figured, if I was going to go for it and get a wax, I was gonna go for the whole thing and get….a Brazilian!

By noon, we made the appointment so there was no backing out now. We both agreed to stop and take a shot before we went to calm out nerves. Bacardi was my pacifier of choice. Then, we pulled up and we couldn’t stop laughing nervously as we waited in the lobby. It was almost time.

I’ll fast forward all of the details, but I will say. It wasn’t as bad as I thought! Haha cliché right? There was definitely parts that I let out a little scream and clenched my toes, but it wasn’t a lingering pain. Once the ripping was over, so was the pain.

I wasn’t very uncomfortable like I thought I’d be with a total stranger all up in my business. But I think the alcohol helped with that. When I was done, I felt so free down there. Lol I felt like a brand new woman!

Needless to say, I booked for my next appointment before I left. 🙂

Peace & Love ♥