Why WE NEEDED Girls Trip


girls

“It’s like we can’t be too ratchet, or else we aren’t smart. We can’t be smart, and love to have a good time. We can’t work and play just as hard at the same time. And this movie shattered that notion on the big screen and I couldn’t have been more proud. -Brooke “

If you’re like me, and the rest of the female population, you saw the thousands upon thousands of commercials and advertisements for Girls Trip. And if you’re like me, you went to go see it the day it came out on Friday. And can I just say, it was UH-MAZE-IN! (Y’all I know that’s not how you spell it, but I said what I said). I got there early with my mom, stashed snacks in my purse, got a huge bag of popcorn and a soda, pulled out my cover (I’m always cold and I ALWAYS keep a little blanket with me lol), and all in two hours, I was taken through an array of emotions.

First off, I need to tell you all of the reasons why I was excited when I first saw this trailer. Not only did it have some amazing actors, some beautiful eye candy and feel good moments (and that was just from the commercials), it took place at the Essence festival! I have always wanted to go for so many reasons. This trailer alone appealed to all of my black girl feels and my black girl life! So often in media and movies, the perception of a black woman is misconstrued and twisted and molded into something else that we can barely recognize. It’s like we can’t be too ratchet, or else we aren’t smart. We can’t be smart, and love to have a good time. We can’t work and play just as hard at the same time. And this movie shattered that notion on the big screen and I couldn’t have been more proud. With each twerk and fruity alcoholic drink they put up to their lips, I beamed from the inside-out. I want to break down each of the girls, I’ll try not to spoil it for those who haven’t seen it but, I want to focus on each of their characters so you understand why I fan-girled through the entire movie.

“Like my mom, Lisa felt guilty about the fact of not having a father present and didn’t want to bring that type of heartache to us if things didn’t work out. She didn’t want to bring someone else into our lives who could hurt us or her and this movie helped me understand her a little bit more. I wish she had, like Lisa, realized she could have a life too. That we would not look at her as being a bad mother when she wanted to do things for herself.”

I want to tell you about Lisa. She was the one I resonated with the most. At first glance, you see the ‘Mom’ of the group. Plain, not much effort put into herself, a little obsessive and very passive. She wasn’t too wild, very poised, morals were on her very fore-front and she loved her babies. lisaShe was a single mother who felt like she had to have it together at all times so people wouldn’t judge her. The negative connotation with single mothers has to stop y’all. Especially in the black community. We judge the mother, we judge the children and people seem to put an extra scope on single mothers to see if they can ‘do it without a man’. Umm, hello! Yes they can! I watched my beautiful black single mother do her thing with three beautiful children. Not once did we go without the things we needed, not once did we go hungry, we always looked nice and attended private schools. And she did it with her single ass. It is possible. (Okay, rant over). Back to Lisa..She put herself on the back burner and didn’t put effort into herself. She tried to make sure everyone else was okay without really looking at her own life. She put off dating because she was so focused on being a mother. I watched my mother do this as well while my father went off and got married and wanted nothing to do with us. Like my mom, Lisa felt guilty about the fact of not having a father present and didn’t want to bring that type of heartache to us if things didn’t work out. She didn’t want to bring someone else into our lives who could hurt us or her and this movie helped me understand her a little bit more. I wish she had, like Lisa, realized she could have a life too. That we would not look at her as being a bad mother when she wanted to do things for herself. Towards the end of the movie, she got back to being herself, not just her children’s mother, which was apart of her, but, that wasn’t all she was. She was a friend, a sister even, to people who loved her for all she was. Once she embraced it, she became a better person and was true to herself.

Okay, now I know you all has seen the famous ‘ drugs in my booty hole’ part of the trailer. Yes, I’m talking about Dina! She was the home-girl you call when you need to make a trip to someone’s house cause they’ve been talking shit. dinaShe was the girl you called when your man is tripping and you need to hear a few words so you tell that nigga how it is and how it’s gnna be. She was your little sister that didn’t take nothing but the cold, hard truth. And If you couldn’t give her that, she wasn’t hearing it. She reminded me a lot of my best friend. If you didn’t know her, you’d just think she was not responsible, just looking for a good time and not really care about what people think. But, she is just a free spirit who wants to enjoy life to the fullest. She has always been this way. I can call her when I need advice and she is going to tell me what I need to hear whether I like it or not. She will get you together! Like Dina, she believes in not beating around the bush. Either it’s this way or it isn’t. People like them want you to be honest with YOURSELF. That’s the only way they know how to be. Towards the end of the movie, you see how deep her love is for her friends are. You see that she just wants them all to be happy and to have each others’ backs through the good and the bad. After all, that’s what sisters are for.

“Sometimes you need a shoulder to cry on, sometimes you need to be checked. But, bottom line is, we’re always there for each other when we need each other.”- Queen Latifah on having a sisterhood X Essence Festival Interview

Sasha, oh Sasha. Played by the Queen herself (Latifah), she was a journalist writing for a celebrity gossip blog. From the beginning, you could tell that she loved writing but, just not in that field. But, she was doing what she had to do to pay the bills and even though things were crashing down on her, her girls were the perfect escape to distract her, if only for a little bit. We see her strained relationship with Ryan (I’ll get to her), but she seems to fall back in ease when all of her girls are around, Lisa and Dina, and they can just let go. Through out the movie,sasha Sasha and Ryan eventually settle their differences and evolve even more in her relationship once Ryan sees how loyal Sasha was really is. She always kept her side-eye roaming for the latest juicy gossip, but when it came to her girls, that was off-limits and that was a line she did not cross. Even with Ryan being somewhat of a celebrity, a well-known author along with her husband Ass-hole..Stewart. Even when things were strained between them, Sasha remained loyal to her girls. Friendship meant a lot to her, even when she didn’t always express it. And everything came around full circle because of that loyalty and it was truly beautiful to see. So often, black women talk amongst themselves and if you ask them to describe the black woman community you hear multiple things; catty, mean, back-stabbing, jealous, envious, rude, not trust worthy. Sasha proved all of these things to be wrong even when she had a chance to gain off of all of those negative connotations. We aren’t all bad! There are black women who support each other! And she validated that.

Ryan.Ryan.Ryan. How I loved to see the growth of Ryan! From the outside looking in, she seemed to have the perfect life and that everything just fell perfectly in place for her. Booming career, loving husband (so we thought), loving girl friends, and an exciting life. But, as we quickly learn, her husband is a dirty, dirty cheat..AND SHE KNOWS! Now like most women, we think, ‘What did I do wrong’, ‘What could I have done better’? Stewart (her husband) made sure to constantly remind her of the ‘brand’ they were selling and how much he loved her, and that she would have nothing without him, blah blah blah. I could’ve punched him through the screen. Because each time he smoothed talked her into not moving on, I saw this look that was all too familiar. We’ve either seen it on our girl friends faces, or our own.That defeated look, that lookryan.jpg that illuminates that little girl part of you that just wants to be loved and happy and is lost. That look you get when you feel so small and worthless and confused and hurt. We have all been hurt and thought we had to accept it and move on. As women, we are always expected to accept the bullshit, plain and simple. If we stay mad for too long, it becomes our fault and we are unreasonable. If we push ourselves to get over it too quickly, we end up developing this tiny inkling of disdain that grows and grows until one day it explodes and we get the label I love to hear so much; crazy. We are crazy for wanting better, crazy for voicing our opinion, crazy for having feelings, crazy for not having feelings. But, with the help of her girls, she realized her worth and Stewart couldn’t stand a chance to manipulate her any longer. Did I tell you he had a baby with the side chick? And guess what, she was going to try to figure that out too. WHY DO WOMEN ALWAYS HAVE TO FIGURE SHIT OUT? But thankfully, she realized she was the bomb and then some. And I loved it! She did not need a man to be successful, she did not need a man to seem like the perfect woman, and she did not need a man for validation. On top of that, she found an AMAZING man who genuinely liked her since childhood. He cared about her and I can only imagine their beautiful relationship as it evolved. She mended her relationship with Sasha and got to branch into an entire new business venture, WITHOUT Stewart.

“This movie…no BIBLE of Sisterhood is something every woman of every age needs to see… It was sexy (Kofi was in there y’all!), unapologetic, the right amount of raunchy, real, raw, hilarious and uplifting.”

One thing that would’ve been a nice additive to the movie, for me, would’ve have been to see how Stewart would react to someone being interested in Ryan. If maybe he had seen the chemistry between them (it was always respectful, no lines were crossed while they were married on her end). But, I would have loved to see him have to nerve, the audacity, the unmitigated gall (yes, that was a Grinch reference) to say anything to her, make her feel bad, or think he had to the right to be upset. It always works that way though doesn’t it? Men do whatever, when ever, to whomever and women are ‘strong’ because they sit through it all. But, if it was the other way around, oh baby, you have committed the worst crime ever right? It’s just one of the double standards that women are shunned under and it has to stop. #ISSADoubleStandard

“It showed girls being girls on vacation, and that is not always sitting by a lake reading a book, or waking up at the crack of dawn to do yoga, or having tea in a history museum, or ‘finding ourselves’ by the ocean (although those are perfectly acceptable if that’s what you want to do. We are allowed to let loose ‘like the boys’, we are allowed to hook up if we want to, we are allowed to take the day by storm, we are allowed to be GIRLS in every sense of the word.”

Girls Trip gave me my entire life and then some. I could resonate with every character in some way, form or fashion; some more than others. But they all tapped my soul in the right spot to awaken the super black girl in me. To know when to toot my own horn and let loose, to know when someone needs to be checked or when to check myself, to cherish the women (friends and family) in my life, and to not accept anything less than what I deserve. This movie, no, Bible of Sisterhood is something every woman of every age needs to see (18 and over though, it’s a hard R rating). It was sexy (Kofi and Lorenz was in there y’all!), unapologetic, had the right amount of raunchy fun, real, raw, hilarious and uplifting. It showed girls being girls on vacation, and that is not always sitting by a lake reading a book, or waking up at the crack of dawn to do yoga, or having tea in a history museum, or ‘finding ourselves’ by the ocean (although those are perfectly acceptable if that’s what you want to do. We are allowed to let loose ‘like the boys’, we are allowed to hook up if we want to, we are allowed to take the day by storm, we are allowed to be GIRLS in every sense of the word.

girls trip

So please, go see it with you mother, sister, auntie, girlfriend, friend, daughter (if she’s age appropriate), enjoy, re-evaluate and flourish.

As Always, Peace & Love ♥

 

 

 

 

 

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