So often, we hear of that old love that has stood the test of time. We hear our great aunties and uncles, granddads and grandmas speak of all of the trials and tribulations they went through to get to where they are today. And when we hear that, I’m not going to lie, I kind of take that with a grain of salt. You see the love they have now and think, they couldn’t have possibly gone through too much pain, they are still together. Right? Surely they’ve never cursed each other out, not spoken for a week or more, wanted to leave, gotten to the point when they don’t even look at each other. But the truth is, they have. The difference between now and then simply boil down to value. Don’t worry, I’ll explain.
We weren’t around for the times when your grandma couldn’t stand that your granddad always left the toilet seat up and always forgot to close the cabinets when he was done. We weren’t there for the times your uncle got sick of your auntie for washing the clothes wrong and accidentally drying his favorite shirt. We weren’t there to witness when they went thru their boring phases and just didn’t have much to say to each other. The truth is, it is gnna happen. I have always viewed relationships in a family sense. You have this person you confide in, talk to everyday, all day. Go through life together, GROW through life together, you see the good, bad and down right ugly of a person and you have to choose everyday to love them in spite of it all. Now-a-days, people are quick to see the faults in a person and simply abandon it for something ‘easier’. But they rarely take the time to realize that these situations are going to happen with everyone.
I always compare it to a sibling relationship, LET ME EXPLAIN. I have two brothers that I love to death but, they get on my nerves ALL THE TIME. They do things that I may not like, say things I don’t want to hear, give advice that is not warranted, hurt my feelings, messed up my room when we all still lived with my mom, broken a few toys of mine, but guess what, they are still my best friends. I will still choose them as my brothers if I had a choice. Because my love for them is unconditional. Despite all of the arguments we have had, where we have yelled to the top of our lungs and proclaimed how much we get on each others nerves, I still love them and I still choose them.
Relationships are a lot like that. Especially living with someone. When you wake up, they are there, when you go to sleep, they are there too. It is totally different than them just coming by to visit and staying a couple of nights with you or vice versa. You don’t notice how they throw their socks right next to the dirty clothes basket instead of IN it. You don’t notice them leaving the seat up. You don’t notice them putting your things up and forgetting where they put it. Or eating that piece of chicken you were saving for dinner. Regardless to the arguments you had that day, they are right there. Some days whether you like it or not. lol Trust me, we have our days when we can’t stand each other and do childish things like not speak to each other even though we are with each other all day, everyday. But once we give each other some space (aka go into different rooms and avoid each other lol) and are able to talk, we come to an understanding and decide to move past it.
This generation has made it so easy to move on to the next instead of putting in honest work to have a thriving relationship. You have friends that try to encourage the carefree lifestyle and to just find another. Sure, that would be easier but, you have to ask yourself if it is worth it. Happiness takes work. Being happy with your partner on the not so good days is hard work. And when I say work, that’s exactly what I mean. It’s not always easy, it’s not always the cuddling at night, it’s not always laughing together. Sometimes it’s not speaking all day and still making dinner for the both of you. Sometimes it’s throwing out the first olive branch and simply hugging or kissing your partner, letting them know you understand or you’re sorry. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes you hurt each other’s feelings, sometimes your communication is off. But your love should remain the same. I am super grateful for how my relationship is now. But, it took work to get where we are. I am grateful for the fact that we have family that encourages our love and advises us on how to stay happy and we listen and take that advice to better ourselves and each other.
Examples of love are so important, especially in this generation. With social media and everything else making it so easy to distract you, seeing real love is a pinnacle aspect of a healthy relationship. You have to listen, learn, and implement what you have heard and learned about yourself and your partner. You should always be your best self in the relationship you are in. Even if it doesn’t work out, it should make you feel good that you have learned somethings about yourself and it should make you better for the next person. You either Love or you Learn, there is no losing in love. Which I wrote about in my previous post Love or Learn (click here to read).
Sometimes people just don’t work out because they aren’t meant to be. They may be prince/princess charming to one person but, the opposite to another. I have learned that makes a huge difference in every aspect. So, the next time you are going through a rough patch with your significant other, ask yourself is it worth it. If it is, by all means work it out the best you can. If it isn’t, know that you have learned about yourself and DO NOT look at it as a loss.
As Always, Peace & Love ♥