But, they got kids!

Relationships are hard, okay? Like, real hard. Now, I don’t mean that you have to fight constant battles everyday with and/or against each other but, it does have it’s obstacles. Whether or not you make it through them in one piece, together, is the real challenge.

One thing in particular that seems to break relationships down, is if one of the partners has kids, BUT, only if it is not something you can handle. I want to address this because my man has two beautiful baby boys with his ex and I never for a second looked at them as being in the way of our relationship. But I know of people who simply will not date someone with kids or will not make any effort to get to know their children and it saddens me every time I hear it. I have had friends that won’t even ask about the children, or mention them. I never understood how you could date someone and not want to know their kid(s). And I also never understood how a person with kids could date someone who did not want to be in their kids life at some point.

Now, I do understand the reasons why someone might feel this way and not want to get involved. Maybe they have an ex that still wants your partner back or an ex that keeps them away simply because they may not like you. Maybe they feel like they can’t get as much time with their partner because they have kids. But, when you accept that person in your life, you have to accept the terms and conditions as well. It takes a certain level of maturity from each person involved to handle these things without feeling left out. You have to know that their children ALWAYS come first. Point.blank.period. And if you can’t handle that, maybe he/she isn’t for you.

When you plan to be with someone and start a family with them, it is so crucial that you establish some type a relationship with their children if you plan on having a future. I’ve witnessed beautiful blended families where they all work well together and they all know their place. Where the exes and new boyfriend/girlfriend don’t hate each other and can actually depend on each other if need be. And with that being said, I know these things take time. You shouldn’t be threatened by the ex and the current partner shouldn’t be looked at as the enemy. But, I do understand the caution behind not wanting your children around someone other than you. As we all know, there are some crazy ass people out there. But, you have to trust the mother/father to know that they wouldn’t bring someone in their lives if they couldn’t trust them around and in their kid(s) life.

So if you are leery about dating someone with kids, I understand and I’m not judging! But, don’t count someone out simply because they have a child or multiple children. And if you are open to it, more power to you! It certainly isn’t for the weak-hearted.

 

Love, Always.Β β™₯

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