Regrets of a Billiken. Day 19: 30 Day Blog Challenge

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Day 19: What is your biggest regret in life?

My biggest regret..I would say it was not getting enough scholarships to continue going to SLU (Saint Louis University). I worked SUPERRRRR hard to get in and I was so proud of myself. But, when I got there what did I do? Partied and enjoyed the environment more than I did looking for ways to pay for it. I loved taking walks in between classes with a huge blueberry muffin and some hot coffee or cappuccino  in my hands with my books on my back. I loved sitting by the fountain while the sun beamed down on every hopeful students heads as we took a break from our studies. Granted, my grades didn’t slip. I kept those up, but when the money ran out and my mother couldn’t help me, I was ass out of luck. I only had a part time job at the Barnes&Noble on campus with only about 20 hours a week, $7.50/hr. I couldn’t do it.

Now, I look at those who had it worse off than me but they still made it happen. I was too dependent on everybody else to make it happen for me that I didn’t make it happen for myself. I watched my mom as she tried to make sure we had a roof over our heads and her health began giving her trouble. How could I ask her for help when she needed to be helping herself? I made a vow to myself that I was going to make myself proud again. As on now, I am back in school for this next semester. I am just at a community college taking some gen ed courses to raise my g.p.a so I can go back. Once a Billiken, always a Billiken right? I’M GOING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. I felt lucky and I felt accomplished an I want to feel like that again..

Peace & Love ♥

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