As humans, our natural instinct is to want to ‘win’ everything. When we were little, we wanted to win at kick ball during recess so everyone could know you were the fastest runner in 5th grade. You wanted to win the spelling bee so you could let the teacher know you were smarter than the kid who looked off your paper WITHOUT your consent during test time. You wanted to win at your classroom debates about whether or not Bill Clinton was a good president.You wanted to prove something to anyone who would listen because that is what we are taught. Let them know you know your stuff and that you are not one to be messed with.
But as I get older, I began to see that not everything is worth proving and not everyone is worth being proved wrong. Sometimes you gotta look at it for what it is and keep it pushing; especially if it is something you cannot change. I have noticed this with various situations and it still takes some work on my end to this day, but I am getting better. It is natural to hear or see something that you know is wrong or hateful and to immediately want to respond with something equally as witty, right? But why? As humans, when things don’t sit well with you, you want to usually want to reconcile the situation. Why do we care so much about what others think? Somethings just aren’t worth the response..In most cases as you’ll find when you get older and wiser, silence is better than the mundane banter you can find yourself in. If you wasted time checking everyone who needed to be checked, you would LITERALLY be talking all day.
Now by all means, assess the situation. Not everything can be skipped over in a passive aggressive manner. As everything is not worth being brushed off of your shoulder. But, if it doesn’t affect your day-to-day life, if it doesn’t change whether your bills are paid on time, it doesn’t affect your family or your love ones, why do you care? You can’t let something or someone affect you so much to where it brings you out of character. Nothing is ever that serious. Me personally, I have always taken things with a grain of salt because I know how to separate what/who is important and what/who isn’t. I have always been this way. Now, that doesn’t mean that I didn’t have to check a few people down the road to get to this point. But, once you make the mistake of entertaining negative energy, negative situations, negative people, hopefully you learn from it and learn how to deal with it better. Somethings just deserve a side eye (hence my pic up there^ lol) and for you to keep on with your life.
You will deal with battles with your significant other (don’t get me started), friends, friends of friends, family, co-workers, random people, (let’s just say everybody to be on the safe side) but, not every battle needs to be turned into a war. It is up to you and whomever to come to an understanding and/or let it go. Decide whether or not it is worth arguing over. Do you care if they are wrong and you are right? Do you care if they like you? Do you care if they talk about you? And if you do care, decide the amount of attention you will give a situation. Is it worth sitting down and talking about? Is the person even capable of such? And if they aren’t, by GOD don’t waste your time. When someone blatantly tries to start wars with you, it speaks volumes on how they were raised. I, on the other hand was raised by one of the most respectable woman I know. She taught me how to respect others regardless of the situation and to CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES in relationships, your work place, friendships, etc. Nothing should ever make a woman act less than. Being taught this, I see the detrimental cycle of people trying to prove themselves in any and everything. You have to step back and think ‘Who are you trying to prove wrong, who are you trying to convince? You or the other person?’.
With time comes experience and wisdom. The knowledge to know the difference between the important and the unimportant. The ability to be the bigger person is a beautiful thing. It DOES NOT mean weakness, it DOES NOT mean defeat, and it DOES NOT mean fear. It means maturity and growth. It shows that you are no longer trying to ‘settle the score’ in your 5th grade classroom. It means that you are no longer looking or seeking approval from anyone. It means that you are no longer sixteen trying to go off on someone for not liking your brown highlights. It means you have grown into an adult. It shows that you are unapologetically you and that you know the importance of your time. Not everyone deserves your time and energy. This is something you cannot get back. So the next time you decide to indulge in a battle/war with someone over something silly, decide if it is worth you or that other persons time. When you are confident enough to not feel the need to prove to anyone whether they are right or wrong, guess what? You’ve already won.
Peace & Love♥