My Dear Aunt Sally

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My Dear Aunt Sally.

..and no, I’m not talking about the steps in P.E.M.D.A.S either. I’m talking about the annoyingly painful Sally. The one that has to get all in your business and make you feel terrible when she’s in town. Who is she you ask? Let me tell you all about her….

When I hit puberty, my mom told me about the changes my body would go through. I would start developing, more than I already had, and that things would be a little different. I was excited for this new person I thought I would become with the added responsibility of being insanely womanly with a race car track for a body (curvy in all the right places…get it? no?? moving on..lol). Along with all the extra bang that would go to my hips and breasts, she told me about something that put a damper on a few things…

The female menstrual cycle.

She tried not to scare me with the thought of blood leaking from my body, so she called it (you guessed it), Sally. Not only did Sally cause me to wear a little extra down there and to be paranoid  I stood up or sat down or laid down or walked or ran or breathed or coughed or sneezed or..let me stop, I’m getting angry :). She told me not to worry about the different ‘symptoms’ that Sally, would cause when she was coming. She said most girls only got about 2 or 3 out of the billion that could arise. And well, lucky me, I got ALL OF THEM. And I still suffer with the lovely bloating, headaches, BREAST ACHES (which are the worst), acne, back aches, mood swings…shall I go on? I’ll just stop there.

So why am I talking about this? Well T.M.I alert, she came to visit, and let me tell you, she is never greeted with a warm welcome. I mean, thanks for letting me know I’m not pregnant and all (fingers crossed each month) but no thanks. Next time, just send me a post card.

(This is an actual depiction of my uterus at it's current state.)
(This is an actual depiction of my uterus at its current state. Viewers discretion is advised.)

 

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2 Replies to “My Dear Aunt Sally”

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